I walk towards you, my reflection,
until I crash through a pane of glass.
I’m showered by glittering shards,
holding my arms to protect my face.
I’ve stopped moving, but you continue to approach,
footsteps crunching.
My face grows warm,
but, even worse, my tongue sharpens, too late,
the shock drinking my measuredness.
Worse yet, I become sad—
I’ve shattered something, and it saddens me.
I reqest you be as you are in my mind, my reflection,
and your answer is a stern no.
Let go of your embarrassment, you say to me,
nothing will change. As I was saying—
I put my embarrassment away,
biting my tongue as I brush shards away.
Let go of your embarrassment, you say to me,
nothing will change. So, then—
I ignore the pieces on my chest,
and let the heat warm a smile on my face.
Let go of your embarrassment, you say to me,
nothing will change. I’ll still—
I clench my fists, bleeding, go to strike you,
but you catch my hands in yours and put them back at my side.
Let go of your embarrassment, you say to me,
nothing will change. It makes you loud.
I lick the shards up, swallow,
shredding my insides away.
Let go of your embarrassment, you say to me,
nothing will change. It makes you loud, you giggle.
I lay on the ground now, stomach curled into itself,
my body working to expel this evil thing.
Let go of your embarrassment, you say to me,
nothing will change. The pain will lessen.
I go in privacy, peace from the sound of your breath.
My body sags in relief, nose scrunching at the smell.
Did you let go of your embarrassment, you ask me.
I don’t know that I will change, I answer you.
I already have, you smile.
Recommendation: No-No Boy by John Okada.